Humor by Bill Frazer
“A Penny For Your Thoughts” is exactly on target when it comes to the penny. I hate the coins as they are a nuisance. Their value is so insignificant in today’s economy that I see the coins lying on the street and nobody even bothers to pick them up. I bet that if you took a poll, you would find almost every household has a jar of pennies in its collection.
It has not been many years ago that the penny had actual monetary value. The copper in the penny was more valuable than the buying power. As a result, the United States Mint replaced them with a cheaper metal composition. But even with that change, as of 2014, production of 1 penny still costs 1.7 cents.
I think that it is a good idea to round off the sale price of any item or product to even multiples of 5 or 10 and then use the metal in pennies to build the wall or drain the swamp or buy whatever President Trump deems that he needs “To Make America Great Again.” When I suggested my plan for gasoline vendors to raise the price from $1.99 to an even $2.00 per gallon, my friend Police Chief Tony Bailey (at least I thought he was) told me that my idea was shortsighted (i.e. dumb) as gasoline purchases almost never come to an even figure anyway. If you purchase 12.2 gallons of gas at an even $2 per gallon, you will still end up with a purchase of 24 dollars, 4 dimes and 2 pennies.
One of the most mystifying things to me is the fact that a stamp costs 49 cents rather than 50 cents. I purchased a stamp over at the LaFayette Post Office the other day and told Joe Ashley to keep the change. He says that he can’t as it is against Post Office policy. They do not want to count pennies either.
While we are on the subject, let the old man put in his “Two Cents Worth” which exactly describes my penny thoughts. It is true and documented that I am known as a “Penny Pincher.” Consider the fact that you can purchase fireworks at a promotion of “buy 1 and get 2 free.” Then, what is the cost just to buy one?
Then there are occasions that the penny expresses its true value. My grandson took his grandparents on a tour of the Wild Animal Safari park over in Pine Mountain. He watched his grandmother scream as camels and giraffes stuck their heads through the window of the car wanting food bits and slobbered in her lap. This went on for the whole hour tour and he laughed the entire time. His comment was that the tour was the “Best Penny He Ever Spent.”
The millennial probably would not know about the “Penny Ante” thing. While in Korea, our leisure time was playing penny ante poker. This was a poker game that the soldiers played inside the post tents that allowed them to get their minds off of the miserable conditions away from home. Nobody had any money for obvious reasons and it was impossible to lose any more than a few cents.
Someone told me about “Penny Loafers.” What in the world are these shoes? I looked up online and it seems that the shoes are slip-ons that became popular in the 1930s and 1940s. You could put a penny or a dime in the diamond shape on top and it would stay securely there until you needed it for a pay phone.
Here is another old phrase, “Pennies From Heaven.” I think that means that you turn up with some pennies (mostly dollars) that you did not anticipate being an asset to your financial base. That has not happened to me.
Oh, I remember a girl that I use to date whose name was Penny. That did not last long as she found out that I didn’t have much “cents.” It was true that I did not have a “Penny To My Name.”
Probably the most correct phrase in the English language is “A Penny Saved Is A Penny Earned.” That fact fits this old “Penny Pincher’s” philosophy. But as inflation continues, the title of this article will need to be changed to “A Nickel for Your Thoughts.”