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And the truth will set you free


Paul Richardson
By Paul Richardson
Well, folks, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it’s time you knew, the Aliens have landed.

Yes sir, even as we speak, they live and walk among us, working quietly to dominate mankind, take over the world and start a new race.

For some time now I have suspected such a plot, but was not one hundred percent certain. But now I can say with complete authority, they are here. (See if you agree.)

My first suspicions came unexpectedly at my favorite burger joint recently. I casually strolled in and ordered my usual happy meal with the prize inside, and an apple pie of the side for being a good little boy, and the cashier smiled and said, “Your total is $4.26 Sir.”

Yes, the prices have gone up. But I handed her a five spot and reached in my pocket and pulled out the twenty six cents. I did not see any reason to carry around a useless pocket full of change, since I had the .26 cents anyhow, and I thought I was being helpful. After all, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to calculate a quarter and a penny.

With a dumb look, she handed back my twenty six cents and said, “You gave me too much, sir. This five will be enough.”

There are not many times I this world when I am rendered completely speechless by acts of stupidity, but this was one. What was so bad, in all hamburger palaces, once the total is calculated, the cashier is suppose to enter the amount paid, and the machine then tells them the correct change to give. It’s a no brainer. It’s all on display in the little screen. Just read it off and follow directions.

I felt kind of sorry for the girl and hoped (for the world as well as her sake) she didn’t have any children.

At that time, the Alien connection did not register.

It wasn’t until later when I read about another incident at one of the same burger places, that reality finally slapped me upside the head like a stick of wet stove wood and I saw the Big Picture.

In Denver, a man ordered a burger meal to go, and paid with a $15 bill.

Yes, I said a $15 spotter. But the kicker is, it had a picture of Bill Clinton on it. The cashier politely gave the man his order, his change, and thanked him for coming in.

So now I know, they are everywhere so be on guard.

However, I do have a solution. I think everyone should have their IQ tattooed across the forehead in plain sight to avoid such circumstances. Just think how helpful that would be for employers.

When the space cadet came in to apply for the assistant manager’s position, everyone would know immediately to give him a broom and mop, not a drawer full of money and a title. That light you see emanating from deep within his ears is not an inner glow. It’s a hole all the way thru and what you see as you look thru is the traffic light down on the corner.

I can tell you now people, if we don’t nip this in the bud, there will be no smart people left.

Dumb can be educated, but stupidity is not only contagious, it’s forever.

It all begs to ask, what’s next, a thirteen spotter with Hilary’s picture?