Home News Bill Frazer – Humor – Listening Woes
Bill Frazer – Humor – Listening Woes
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Bill Frazer – Humor – Listening Woes

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If you never have had listening woes, you are definitely not married. Our hearing is geared to what we want to hear. Most of us have a tendency to listen to what we want and block sounds that we wish to ignore.

Case in point, most men really get into watching football, stock car racing, Lawrence Welk (most of you have no idea who he is) or Law & Order on your 50” screens. Since most wives have no interest in these entertainments, they almost always try to have a conversation with you when it is 4the down and goal or Kyle Busch is passing Martin Truex on the last lap. Your reply is generally offensive to the wife when you tell her that you do not care to listen about her friend Agatha’s Botox injection to prevent wrinkles. When she tells you that your reply is rude, you respond by saying that Agatha should ask for her money back because it didn’t work.

The same can be said about the husbands as they are not focused on The View, Martha Stewart’s Living or Hillary’s book review. Invariably as the women on The View address female bigotry, I ask my wife what we are having for supper. Of course, in response, she is going to tell me that she isn’t the local fast food provider. She will say, “If you are hungry, go in the kitchen and make yourself a tomato sandwich.” My reply is usually that you need to peel me a tomato and wash some lettuce. Of course that doesn’t go over very well, so I get up and get me a bag of potato chips and sit down and read the paper while this trash is still on the screen.

In my opinion, politicians have the worst job in the world. In order to get the votes, it is mandatory that they listen to a myriad of stupid viewpoints. What is a stupid viewpoint? It is anything that I don’t agree with and I do not enjoy hearing. An example is someone telling me why we should not stand when the National Anthem is played. The millennials tell me that it is a free country and they are entitled to express their hate of our country. By the same right, I am turning a deaf ear to this disrespect of our great nation.

Most of us have been caught with Listening Woes. Some years ago I was a member of a local business club. At every meeting a member is responsible for the week’s program and would bring in a speaker to address the group. On more than one occasion, the speaker would be some local promoting a project such as passing out free umbrellas to students waiting for the school bus. It was about as interesting as a Hillary speech on why she lost. Out of respect for the speaker, you try to listen to his/her oration rather than working on a crossword puzzle, which is my favorite past time.

Getting back to the point of Listening Woes, this describes it best. My wife told me that she wished she were an eight. Being the listening and understanding husband, I agreed to try and make her wish come true. I woke her up at nine and told her to come downstairs for breakfast as I had scrambled eggs, bacon and waffles ready. After she dressed, I took her to Atlanta to an amusement park for the day where she enjoyed the kiddie rides, buttered popcorn and tossed pennies for a prize. On the way back home, I stopped at Smokey Joes and bought her a corn dog and French fries. As we were getting in bed I asked her how she enjoyed being 8 again. She said, “You dummy, I went along with your plan just to please you. If you had been listening, you would have understood that I said THAT I WISH I HAD AN 8 DRESS SIZE.”

There is a proverb by King Solomon stating “Whoso stoppeth his ears at the cry of the poor, he shall cry himself and not be heard.” Good advice to heed, indeed.