Home Local Humor By Bill Frazer – It’s All About Taste Buds
Humor By Bill Frazer – It’s All About Taste Buds
0

Humor By Bill Frazer – It’s All About Taste Buds

0
0
I am trying to figure out the “bud’ in “taste buds.” My sorry son-in-law #2 is a Bud, but he has good “taste buds” as he helps out the old man. I know what a plant “bud” is as it shows up every spring. Anyway, my “buddies” Jim Frank and Monroe Smith say they like pickled pig feet which makes them have bad taste buds.

I do not know how the subject came up, but one of my classmates (and sadly there only a few left from the LaFayette High 1947 graduating class) told me that she liked pomegranates, which I think is like eating a mock orange. Incidentally, she is on my jealous list, as Miriam Anne Kirkwood Syler made all us look dumb in reading and literature classes. A couple of months ago the Cobb Memorial Library put a plaque honoring her on one of the rooms. As a tribute to her poor “taste bud,” I left her a mock orange that I found lying along the stream at the West Point Park. I wanted her “taste buds” to sample it before I risked trying it out myself. I never heard from her but I assume that the fruit is not poisonous as I saw her the other day and she is still getting around.

While in a local grocery store a few days ago, I was astounded to see a large display of pomegranates. I was not aware that pomegranates were considered extremely healthy and nutritious. Stowed in the display was a pamphlet showing how to prepare pomegranate for consumption by removing edible seeds and draining the juice. Pomegranate is all over the Internet for those with good “taste buds” as a health snack food. Maybe so but I think that I will stick to eating parched goobers for my health food.

I find myself addressing a topic that illustrates my ignorance. The Bible mentions pomegranates in the Old Testament utilized as food, decorations and holy sacraments. In most of the Middle East, pomegranates are a coveted food dish. In other words, my Buffalo “taste buds” are definitely not part of the world’s coveted dishes.

Another dish popular in high society that my “taste buds” indicate as foreign is caviar. Caviar is nothing but raw fish eggs. The cheapest caviar costs $50 per ounce and to snack on them would mean you would be eating $100 plus in fish eggs. My “buddy” Jerry Schwarzauer said that since I was a Buffalo Red Neck, how did I know that my “taste buds” did not like fish eggs as I had never reached the social status where I attended an event where caviar was served? He is correct, but the thought of eating raw fish eggs is to me like eating raw pig eyeballs.

Some years back I visited the coast of Maine. Of course the popular dish among the locals and the visitors was lobster. I like the meaty part of the lobster, but when I saw how the locals ate lobster it kind of offended my “taste buds.” They would cook the lobster and serve it intact as a whole lobster. The locals would punch a hole in the oversized craw fish (that is what lobster is) and suck the black juice out of it. That black juice is nothing but liquid feces. And they make fun of Red Necks that eat chitlins!

Oh, I forgot about all of the ones without “taste buds” that eat raw oysters. My wife, who is from Watermelon Pond, Florida, knows all about eating raw oysters. She says that hers are steamed, but in fact they are only warmed up. Harold White says he likes oysters raw better than cooked. There is a myth about raw oysters that some men prescribe to, but I won’t address that.

Also, I forgot about the local Red Necks whose “taste buds” are malformed who tell me that they eat passion fruit which are really just Buffalo “maypops.” I am sure that none of the millennials would know what I am talking about, but Rabbit Adams tells me that when they turn yellow (which means they are rotten), they taste good. Huey Slay says he used to eat them but Lois said she hated them. I understand where she is coming from because I remember in my early years that tossing rotten maypops at girls was a popular sport and they hated cleaning the mess off of their clothes.

During my tour of Korea back in 1953, I noticed that the popular dish that the Koreans served at almost every meal was called “Kimchi.” It is made of salted and fermented vegetables that probably a southern cotton patch native would enjoy. But after I saw what the ingredients other than rice were added, my “taste buds” had to take a pass. A lot of my compatriots enjoyed the dish even though they reeked of garlic for days after. You definitely would not want to be around them when they passed gas.

And as I have said before, I wonder about your “taste buds” if you enjoy chitlins and souse meat.