Home Columns Humor By Bill Frazer: Reckoning With Millenials
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Humor By Bill Frazer: Reckoning With Millenials

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Wrong Box Ashley’s Home Office.
Sign Posted At Check Out Desk At LaFayette True Value Hardware.
Crimson Tide Graduate View Of Employment.

On the news the other day in response to the impeachment inquiry, South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham said that is was “a bit like un-ringing a bell.” I was shocked to hear cotton patch phrases used on national news. Even Adam Schiff can probably figure out that the phrase means that you can’t take something back if it is on the record.

I am always “dissing” millennials so I thought that I would try and learn some of their vocabulary and expressions. Please note that I already used one in the previous sentence—“dissing” is slang for being disrespectful. See, this old dog can learn new tricks! Here are some more–

Binge watch–spending a stupid amount of time watching a single TV show or movie. My superiors would have been “madder than a wet hen” if I tried this stunt when young.

The struggle is real—what to say when someone is struggling with a very minor problem, implying that he/she needs to get perspective. If you ever lived through the Great Depression or fought for our country, you could probably say this at least once a day to younger folk.

Sorry, not sorry—sarcastic way of acknowledging someone may not like whatever you are saying or doing. I am “sorry, not sorry” about the columns I write every week.

Woke–being very pretentious about how much you care about a social issue. I think that Cotton Patchers express it better with “she’s got gumption.” Because someone with gumption, has experience and common sense to go along with their spunk and initiative.

Trolls—someone who deliberately makes people mad online to get a reaction. Hmm, I might be guilty of “trolling” a bit in my columns.

Clap back—responding to a criticism with a withering comeback. You better “hush your mouth” if you criticize my columns because I might “clap back!”

I can’t even–not being able to express how you feeling because you are overwhelmed with emotion (or disdain). I think that “heavens to Betsy” works just as well.

Said no one ever—phrase that emphasizes the ridiculousness of the statement preceding it. We Cotton Patch natives would just respond with “til the cows come home.”

On fleek—on point. I have no idea what “fleek” references.

Slay—greatly impress or amuse someone. If someone makes me laugh, I’d say “he was funny as all get out.”

Adulting—practice of behaving in a way characteristic of a responsible adult, especially in mundane tasks. “How on earth” are we going to run a country if adults think they are kids? I mean, “I can’t even.”

But the following term is the one that just “slays” me. G.O.A.T.—an acronym for greatest of all time. I would say be careful with this one because someone might get “too big for their britches.” And in the Cotton Patch, a goat is a farm animal. Nuff said.