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Humor

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During my 48 years of
having an office in LaFay

ette and traveling there
daily, I have never seen
the likes of so many politi-
cal signs on the highway.
I would almost bet you
that there has been over
$100,000 spent on road
signs and on-air advertis-
ing in Chambers County
for all these candidates.
In an earlier article,
I asked, “What are the
requirements to be an
office holder?” It seems
that being able to read and
write and to win friends
and influence people is all
that is required. Since this
is the case, I have decided
to recommend a common
sense quiz that all candi

dates would have to pass.
Now this quiz is
designed to measure not
the intellectual ability of
the candidate, but a test of
using common sense. The
quiz is as follows–
In which battle did
Davy Crockett die?
His
last battle
Where was the Decla

ration of Independence
signed?
At the bottom of
the page
The Susquehanna River
is in which state?
In its
liquid form
What is the main reason
for divorce?
Marriage
What is the main reason
for failure?
This exam
What can you never eat
for breakfast?
Lunch and
dinner
What looks like a half
of an apple?
The other
half
If you throw a red
stone into the blue sea,
what will it become?
We t
How can a man go
eight days without sleep

ing?
No problem – he can
sleep at night
How can you lift an
elephant with one hand?
You can’t because you can
never find an elephant
with one hand
If you had three apples
in one hand and four
oranges in the other hand,
what would you have?
A
large hand
If it took 8 men ten
hours to build a wall, how
long would take 4 men to
build it?
No time at all
as
it is already built
How can you drop an
egg on a concrete floor
and not crack it?
Any way
that you want as concrete
floors are hard to crack
I thought that I would
take these questions out
to LaFayette True Value
Hardware and see how
Cooter Allen would do.
I know that Dimwit Fitts
would blow right through
it. Maybe he can recom

mend a civics quiz to the
Alabama legislature that
would qualify a candidate.
And I have also been
musing about the fate of
all those political yard
signs. As a child of the
Depression, I can’t stand
for anything to go to
waste. A quick search on
the Internet yielded some
great ideas—cut them up
to fit the base of reusable
tote bags to make more
sturdy; lay on the lawn to
kill a weed patch; use as a
drop cloth for spray paint
projects; take the metal
stakes and mark a garden;
repaint/recover for a yard
sale sign; and my favorite-
-use as target practice at a
gun range