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Just so you’ll know

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Paul Richardson
Paul Richardson
By Paul Richardson

Everybody has heard about sleep walking, but a lady in New Zealand has gone one step further.

Authorities say the woman drove some 200 miles in her sleep. It all started when a concerned friend contacted police because the unnamed woman, who has a sleep disorder, took sleeping pills and drove away from her home.

Police knew she was texting along the way, and people who received the texts said she seemed incoherent and half-asleep. Police tracked her across country by her cell phone but was unable to catch up.

Cops finally found her slumped over the wheel asleep, in the driveway of her old home in the town of Mount Maunganui, after what they described as a five-hour drive. She awoke with “absolutely no recollection of the events,” said a police sergeant. ”

This wasn’t a first: Ten months before she took a drive while sleeping and ended up in another city. This second offense resulted in a license suspension.

This story prompted me to look at what other sleep disorders might plague an individual, and I was amazed. Let’s start with Sleep Texting, now apparently the rage.

If you are glued to your smart phone during the day, it is not uncommon to attempt to use it while you sleep. But you’re not going to fool anyone. Most messages make no sense at all.

Sleep Eating. Many unsuspecting people, especially dieters, have been known to wake up with candy wrappers, cracker crumbs, empty food bowls, pizza crust, bread wrappers and a host of other food related items in their bed, and not know how they got there.

Sleep Tinkering. Documented cases of individuals performing weird tasks while asleep are common, such things as taking apart clocks, assembling model cars and planes, even playing a game of basketball.

And of course, there is Sexomania. I’m not to say much about this condition, except it resulted in many assault and rape charges. The title is pretty much self explanatory.

By far the most common sleep ailment is apnea, a breathing disorder that is serious, but treatable.

Now, there might be some useful information here if you read between the lines.
(Honest Judge, I was sound asleep when I stuffed that ten pound ham in my jammies and commandeered that taxi.)
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