Home Opinion Oldugly Declares His “Write-in Candidacy”

Oldugly Declares His “Write-in Candidacy”


A neighbor from back in
the day named Frank Row-
ley shared this “tongue-
in-cheek essay with me,
and I thought it was an
exceptional read for those
of us who are tired with
“politics as usual.” Here’s
Oldugly’s announcement
for Governor:
Why would any sane
person even consider ask-
ing for this job? Because I
am tired of all the partisan
bickering and “BS.”
Am I “super quali-
fied” for the job? Hell no!
But, over the years I have
figured out, when you don’t
know what is best, call in
the real experts. Not the
very wealthy, nor those
who claim to know it all,
and will not consider alter-
natives. Ask the folks who
are in the trenches every
day. They will usually tell
you straight what they see
wrong, and usually have
good ideas how to fix it.
Education: Ask the
teachers and the folks
who know what skills the
students will need in the
real world. Put them in the
same room to plan a “fix.”
Infrastructure: Listen
to the workers who have
to fix and maintain these
Social Problems: The
people who encounter so-
cial issues every day prob-
ably have some workable
fixes. We need to listen to
I believe that if you are
not or have not been work-
ing in an area – you should
not be making the deci-
sions about what should be
done. The people who set
the goals must have real
experience in the appropri-
ate area. They are the ones
who should not only set
goals, they should also help
plan the routes to get there.
There are dedicated
administrative workers in
the government whose jobs
need to be protected. Most
of them have good ideas as
well. They should be heard.
So, when elected, I
promise to pull together
some real pros to review,
and if necessary, help reset
the priorities. To figure out
what are the most impor-
tant problem areas, and
bring them to the front.
We will figure out the best
ways to fix or get rid of
these problem areas. Then
we will present to you,
the people of Michigan
the new priorities for your
approval. If you are going
to help pay for the fixes, or
if they are going to impact
your life, you need a say.
You have read this far,
therefore you must be
interested. Who am I, and
what do I believe?
I am a 76-year-old male
in really good health. I
have been married to my
wife, the love of my life,
for 39 years.
I attended a Michigan
one-room rural school
through 8th grade; then
High School in the Middle
of the Mitten. After I re-
tired from the Air Force as
a Senior Master Sergeant
(not an endorsement). I
earned a Bachelor Degree
from the University of Ne-
braska at Omaha. Back in
Michigan I earned a Master
of Business Administration
from Central Michigan
Political Outlook:
Financial conservative, So-
cial liberal. (Republicrat?
Political Experience:
Nearly zero, but I always
Religious: Nope. BUT, as
long as what you believe
does not require you to
force your beliefs on
someone else; to hurt, or
control others, I am okay
with it. As long as you can
live with those conditions
I will defend your right to
your beliefs.
I am entering my sev-
enteenth year of substitute
teaching in the same pub-
lic school.
An NRA Life Member
who believes we can make
some much needed chang-
es without infringing on
the 2nd Amendment rights
of law-abiding citizens.
As a comfortably retired
“Classic Citizen,” I pledge
that 50% of the money
earned as governor, will
be donated to charitable
or educational programs.
(Well, that is if you will
feed me at the Mansion.)
I will not take political
contributions. I do not want
to have or even consider
who gave the most money.
(If you have extra money,
donate it to a worthwhile
cause in your local area.)
And I will NOT run for a
second term.
Yes, I can be grouchy,
but I’m working on that.
When elected, I will do
my best not to lie to you.
(Of course if we are talking
Huntin’ and Fishin’ there
may be some exaggera-
So, this fall, when you
enter the polling booth,
think carefully. Do you re-
ally want another of those
“Polished Politicians.”
Or would you rather have
someone who really cares
about us and our beauti-
ful state? Someone who
does not have “rock solid”
convictions of how to fix
everything. I am someone
who will really listen to
those who have probably
good ideas. I am willing
to give up the comforts of
retirement to help us work
If your answer to these
questions is YES, then do
your part. When you enter
the polling booth, grab the
pen and write in “Frank
Rowley” for Governor.
It may be a rough go,
but I believe if we work
together, we can fix almost
anything in our beautiful
state. We can make our
children, grandchildren,
and great-grandchildren
proud of what we pass on
to them.
If we can start with just
one vote in every county,
maybe we can make it
grow to one vote in every
precinct. Then, we might
be able to gather in every
voter who is undecided,
everyone who is dissatis-
fied with other candidates.
Especially those who had
not decided to vote based
on the major party candi-
dates. With each of you
helping get the word out,
we might make this work.
Dang, a non-politician
that actually makes sense.
I might have to reconsider
my vote. Oldugly has a
platform I could really sup-
port. If only he were really
truly running.